Wannabes, losers, shysters, and gamblers! Lend me your ears!


The name’s Joe Junkman. I’m kind of a big deal around the Mo-Javi. If you haven’t seen my name slapped on a Junkman Caravan Co. caravan cart, you’ve probably seen it on Junkman brand spoons, Junkman brand refurbished boots, or more likely The Wasteland Survival Guide (written by Joe Junkman).

Now I know what you’re thinking. How in Kass’ name did a know-nothing wastelander without a single dog-tag to his name, come to have his own caravan company, market, and refurbishment factory, you ask? One word. Persuasion. See, when you use the right words, you can convince people of anything. That rusty old spoon? Give it a coat of chrome spray paint and you can convince wastelanders it’s real silver. It also helps when you’re not afraid to ask for more than you’re worth.

It wasn’t always this easy though. I started small time. It took me years to claw my way to the top of the Wasteland ladder: to amass a scavenger’s horde greater than James Gray’s, to build a work force bigger than the Blacksmith’s guild, and to have as many shiny toys as General Kass. A lot of people don’t give me credit these days, they think I just sit behind my desk and count money while “exploiting” my refurbishers. While that’s mostly true, people tend to forget that I used to be one of the greats, a real wasteland adventurer.

I didn’t start my business right away. I wandered the Mo-Javi for a long time, picking up odd jobs and meeting the wackos of the wastes. Yet no matter how many times I contracted radiation sickness, caught bubonic plague from Undying gamblers, or got my arm ripped off by a gooey, half-formed super soldier, I knew that someday I’d end up here. Here’s the secret: If you can make it in the Mo-Javi, you can make it anywhere.

Listen to my story, follow my advice, and most importantly buy my book so that you can learn what it takes become a living legend…

-Joe Junkman

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