I Fought the Law

Just my luck.

I was trying to haggle for those mushrooms when suddenly a guy in a ratty old suit shows up. Guy says that taxes are due “on order of the judge” or something. Mushroom guy tells me I better pay up. I tell him I don’t know what he’s talking about. Suit guy doesn’t like that. He pulls out a gun. Next thing I know, I’m on the ground and wearing handcuffs.

While I was being dragged through the streets, I got a good look around. This whole place is a dump. I can’t believe so many people live here. The buildings are crumbling or have boarded up windows. Anyway, suit guy led me up to an old courthouse and handed me off to another guy in a suit, who threw me in a line of smelly beggars going out the door and down the front steps. A lot of these “people” have weird deformities; one looked like he was turning into a tree.  Real gross.

So I’m waiting in line and tree guy asks if I got any “spare tags”. I ignored him and tried to talk to one of the suit guys, telling him I didn’t do anything. Guy said that I just have to wait for the judge to hear my case. My hands were tied. Not much I could do. I waited for hours. The line was barely moving, but every time it did it was because one of the hobos was being dragged away by more guys in suits. I guess they’re called “counselors.”

After a whole day of standing in line, waiting to see the judge, the courthouse closed down for the night. All the people who still had to see the judge were rounded up and thrown in jail! Now I gotta spend a night behind bars with a bunch of diseased freaks. Worst of all, nobody took off my handcuffs and I really need to go to the bathroom.

I think I would have been better off with the nurse.

-Joe Junkman

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