Cult Classics: Warriors of the Wasteland

Following the success of Mad Max 2 was a handful of post-apocalyptic B-movies. Among those was The New Barbarians (aka Warriors of the Wasteland), a dirt-cheap Italian knock off. Despite a slow start, this movie actually isn’t terrible, it just has low production values. However, I noticed a lot of similarities between this film and She Wolves of the Wasteland. Both have alternate titles. Both have promising, but underdeveloped plots and concepts. Both suffer from poor editing and a lack of closure. For that reason, let’s use a similar four points system as She Wolves, with one exception.

  1. The Plot
  2. Interesting concepts
  3. Editing
  4. Characters

The Plot: The year is 2019. It has been 9 years since the nuclear holocaust of 2010 (Thanks, Obama). The film begins by focusing on a small caravan who has just discovered “The Signal” a mythological radio frequency that supposedly leads to the last civilization on Earth. Unfortunately, before the tribe can decipher the coordinates, they’re attacked by a rival tribe of motorized marauders called “The Templars” whose only goal is to destroy all human life because reasons.

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The Templars crush their enemies with a mixture of explosives and laser guns. That night, timid humans wrapped up in white cloth (with a strong resemblance to Mad Max buzzards) loot the destroyed caravan. They run for cover when a muscle car (with a glowing green roof) appears form the darkness. Now we meet our hero, Scorpion.

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After looting the scene and killing the buzzards, Scorpion meets with his friendly wasteland mechanic, a 10-year-old boy. With his car repaired, Scorpion drives off to save a van under attack by the Templars. The only survivor of the attack is a woman who Scorpion saves in the nick of time. Scorpion confronts Templar lieutenants, revealing that he is an ex-Templar and wants to send a message to the Templar leader, One.

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Scorpion’s car has a neat chrome skull hood ornament, but that bubble dome is way too much.

Scorpion drives off with the woman, attempts to bandage her wound, and then immediately has sex with her. Meanwhile the Templar lieutenants plan to ambush Scorpion against One’s wishes. The ambush turns into a counter attack when Scorpion’s best frenemy Nadir fires on the Templars with exploding arrows.

End

 

Scorpion, the woman, and Nadir then travel to a caravan of peaceful religious people who have also found “The Signal.” The woman decides to stay with the caravan, while Scorpion drives off only to be immediately captured and anally raped by One. The Templars attack the caravan as well, killing the entire tribe almost immediately. Meanwhile, Nadir rescues Scorpion and trains him alongside the child mechanic. Finally, the three return to the religious caravan, rescue the survivors just before their executions, and defeat the Templars.

Interesting Concepts: Although Warriors of the Wasteland uses more sci-fi elements than Mad Max, there are only two truly interesting concepts in this film.

Radio

The Signal is a great idea. A legendary radio signal that will lead those who find it to the last civilization on Earth. To complete the motif, the leader of tribe looking for the promised land is named Moses. The true nature of The Signal is left ambiguous. Both tribes who discover The Signal are immediately attacked by the Templars. However, even the Templar lieutenants believe The Signal to be real.
Apparently, the source of The Signal is only 10 miles from Moses’ camp, but we never learn what happens to it. At the end of the movie, Moses’ tribe is wiped down to three people. The movie ends with the mechanic child grabbing Scorpion’s hand. The audience never learns if The Signal actually led to the promised land or if there is a last civilization at all.

Warriors of the Wasteland is clearly a Road Warrior knockoff, but it builds on car combat. Cars are armed with drills, flamethrowers, laser cannons, missiles, spinning blades to decapitate pedestrians, and laser cannons. Perhaps one of the best examples of car combat in this movie is when a Templar drills through an armored fan, then uses his flamethrower to burn the target from the inside out. Warrior’s car combat relies more on mechanical weapons while Mad Max (especially Fury Road) relies on projectile (thundersticks) and passive (kneecappers) weapons.

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The fanblade of death!

Editing: Each action scene in Warriors was filmed at three different speeds. Whereas Mad Max has fast paced action scenes where you can feel the wind, the danger, and the tension, Warriors of the Wasteland suffers from slower action. Many of the action scenes are purposely slowed down which destroys any sense of tension. This is especially true in the first battle, just five minutes into the movie, where it feels like the Templars are driving at 15 MPH. Additionally, many of the battle scenes have choppy editing that breaks the narrative flow.

Characters: The characters here are totally hit or miss.  For every interesting person in this movie, there are three with no characterization.

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Scorpion can best be described as Not-Mad-Max. He’s a scavenger who shows up to loot a burning caravan. Other than that, he really has no character, he’s just a nice guy who knows how to fight. The woman sleeps with him because he’s nice to her. The child mechanic helps him because he’s nice. Scorpion even refuses to attack Templars because his real qualm is with One. The result is a boring lead.

Woman

I honestly could not tell you the woman’s name in this movie. Scorpion saves her, sleeps with her, and for the next 45 minutes she patiently waits in his car (even during action scenes) until finally deciding she should follow Moses’ tribe so she can be captured for the finale. Where was she going before Scorpion saved her? Who was she traveling with before they were attacked by Templars? We never find out.

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One is a weird guy. He’s the leader of the Templars, but he only ever fights Scorpion. In the beginning of the movie he rips a bible in half and says “books started this whole apocalypse.”  Maybe Warriors is a sequel to the Fahrenheit 451 movie? Other than that, One is a standard bad guy. He kills his own men when they disobey and he whispers to himself before getting into a shouting fit. Whenever a Templar asks him a question, the answer is always some variation of “kill them.” However, there is just a glimmer of extra characterization. During the previously mentioned rape scene, it’s established that all Templars are sodomized by One as an initiation ritual.

Nadir

Nadir should have been the star of this movie. There’s two posters for this movie, one that portrays Scorpion, Nadir, the child mechanic, and the woman and another portraying Nadir as white accompanied by the woman. Fred Williamson plays Nadir and uses his natural charisma to create a character who is funny, stern, and perfectly hammy. Williamson’s performance makes the character far more interesting than he actually is. Without the performance, Nadir’s character is a barebones warrior who always appears just in time to save Scorpion from certain doom, which causes Scorpion to resent him. That’s about the extent of his characterization.

Although it suffers from slow pacing, Warriors of the Wasteland has some neat ideas. The film takes a few tentative steps toward expanding car combat and it features an interesting religious concept. Unfortunately, the film ends without any real resolution. Once the bad guys are dead, everyone gathers around Scorpion and the movie just ends.

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We Are Not Things: Commodities of the Citadel

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Mad Max: Fury Road had a lot of memorable catch phrase, but one of them transcended becoming a meme and ended up appealing directly to one of the film’s overarching themes. Written inside Five Wives’ Vault was “WE ARE NOT THINGS”.  The audience immediately relates this phrase to the wives’ role as breeders. However, by looking at the whole of Immortan Joe’s society, as well as some small details from the Fury Road comics, it can be seen that this phrase applies to every resident of The Citadel.

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War Boys are the heart of Immortan Joe’s society and exist solely to die for their leader. War Pups are seen powering The Citadel’s elevator and the comics show that parents must give their children away to be raised solely by full grown War Boys. Reinforcing their utterly disposable nature, the majority of these warriors have cancer and will “kamakrazee” themselves in grim situations. Like their iconic thunder-sticks, War Boys are merely weapons to be thrown away.

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Immortan Joe’s religion, The Cult of the V8, keeps his men in check. Because the religion revolves around reaching Valhalla (traditionally a warrior’s paradise), War Boys are not only willing, but encouraged to die in an exciting manner. This raises the question as to what Immortan Joe meant when he claimed he would personally carry Nux to the gates of Valhalla.

mad-max-fury-road-nux-scars-v8-engine-230x300Interestingly, Nux (and others like him) could be identified as a mechanic without speaking a single line, due to the engine block engraved on his chest. Immortan Joe doesn’t need to know the names or proficiencies of his men as they have already been marked for convenience. All these aspects combine to demonstrate at War Boys are designed as things, inevitably doomed and easily replaceable.

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Because the focus of Fury Road is the action, it is easy to overlook the background details that brought The Citadel to life. Although mother’s milk is mentioned several times and gets a few minutes of screen time, its larger implication is left to the audience. Milkers are effectively high profile slaves, enjoying the luxury of the Citadel’s throne room, but always attached to their machines. Immortan Joe uses these women as factories, a thing that convert vegetables and water into high calorie nutrients, nothing more.

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Expanding on the theme of Immortan Joe’s followers being things is the Organic Mechanic. Merely the title of The Citadel’s only doctor demonstrates that War Boys are no different than a car: a tool that can be broken, fixed, and refueled. Although we don’t see much of the Organic Mechanic, we do see his methods. In Immortan Joe’s society, even enemies are recycled into resources. Road warriors and ferals being transformed into living blood bags once again reflects the theme of people becoming things; not just specialized workers, but actual commodities to be used up.

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The History Men are intriguing, but rarely used. Miss Giddy, Five Wives’ teacher, had several of her scenes removed. Although the History Men serve as a framing device for the Fury Road comics, it is worth mentioning that they were not present at all in the Mad Max video game. The History Men reflect a breakdown of the self to preserve humanity, wearing hundreds of permanent tattoos to remind themselves about the old world. History Men tell stories and serve as teachers and advisors to the powerful, but despite their wisdom they have become a thing as well. The difference between Miss Giddy and the others in Immortan Joe’s realm is that the History Men are willing participants sought all across the wasteland while War Boys and Milkers are victims of conquest.

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Finally, there are the five wives themselves. Similar to a fairy-tale, these women have been trapped in a tower, far away from the sick and irradiated wasteland peasants. According to the Furiosa comic, Immortan Joe affords his wives entertainment, books, and Miss Giddy. Already, we see that the wives are not specialized in the same manner as The Citadel’s other denizens. Indeed, Five Wives are taught Greek, a language which would otherwise be lost in post-apocalyptic Australia. Although each of these women hold the title of Breeder, they are far more than that. They sing, they play piano, they speak forgotten languages, they know of past failures and dream of creating a better world from the ashes of the old.

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Despite being more well rounded than the other servants, Five Wives are still things within The Citadel’s society. The Immortan even goes so far as to say that Angharad’s child is his property. Outwardly, it appears that Joe is merely using the wives as a means to his ultimate goal of having a healthy male heir. However, one line from the Furiosa comic has always stuck with me. Toast the Knowing says “Not like me. Where he puts it, there’ll be no babies.

No matter how you look at it, Immortan Joe uses the wives for more than just breeding. Indeed, one panel of the Furiosa comic includes the wives collectively playing music for him. Again, this distinctly separates these women from becoming their title. Whether Joe has any deep feelings towards his wives or merely cares about the child is left ambiguous.

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There was another odd statement from the Furiosa comic. The narrator states that “He [Immortan Joe] gave them…knowledge and knowledge has a way of igniting dissent and inciting revolution.” The Immortan is not stupid. His entire society is built around appearing as a God and keeping his subjects in the dark. In the comic, Joe outwardly states his suspicion of Miss Giddy, but does nothing to stop her. It raises the question as to why he would give the wives Miss Giddy when it would certainly lead to his own downfall. Had Joe merely treated the breeders as he treats the Milk Maids or the War Boys, he would never have faced betrayal or death.  Yet neither the comics nor the movie have a good answer to this question, despite that both were written by George Miller.

Immortan Joe turns everyone he meets into a thing, specializing each person until they become a commodity. Wasteland peasants dream of ascending to The Citadel’s barracks, but they don’t realize that they will be transformed into cogs (albeit well-fed) in the Immortan’s great machine. Five Wives were the exception; they were allowed to be more than specialized cogs, yet that allowance ultimately caused the Immortan’s downfall.

Why did Joe give Five Wives the History Woman despite being suspicious of her teachings? Tell us in the comments!

Edit: I want to thank Evan (@fromthewastes) for helping me give this article direction. At first it was just a jumbled wordburger, but with a little help it raises some interesting questions.

 

Judge Minty: A Judge Dredd Fan Film

Previously, we looked at Judge Dredd: Superfiend, a fan film that had a lot of comic influence, but put a wacky twist on the story and sound design. Inversely, the Judge Minty fan film stays true to the comics, but gives it a realistic twist similar to Dredd 3D. Fitting with The Rad-Land’s theme of post-nuclear fiction, the majority of the film takes place in the radioactive wastelands of the Cursed Earth.

Story: The film concerns Bill Minty, an aging Judge who was severely wounded in the line of duty. Minty rejects a teaching position at the Academy of Law and instead decides to take the Long Walk, exiling himself to the Cursed Earth to bring law to the lawless. What’s interesting about this film is that Judge Minty was actually a character who briefly appeared in Judge Dredd (and was recalled just before Necropolis). The film knows this and mirrors the story exactly as it occurred in the comics. The camera angles and dialogue match up perfectly. The film’s opening act is truly a Judge Dredd comic come to life. Once Minty has entered the Cursed Earth, the story picks up speed as he is hunted by a war party of mutants led by Aquila, an extremely powerful psyker.

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The establishing shots in Judge Minty are great wallpapers!

Establishing Shots: I believe every fan film does at least one thing exceedingly well. For Superfiend it was sound design. For Judge Minty it is establishing shots. Each act of the story opens with an establishing shot: First of Mega-City One, then of the Cursed Earth, and finally the village of Fairville. The film opens with the voice of a lone dispatcher, but quickly builds up to dozens of voices reporting crimes at the same time. Immediately, the audience gets a sense for the chaos of Mega-City One, which juxtaposes well with the lawless Cursed Earth. The wasteland itself is given a lengthy introduction, but one that serves to better the tone, establishing that the Cursed Earth is a nearly lifeless place where only near-human mutants and other monstrosities remain.

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The costumes are exactly as they are in the comics

Characters: Although the set design in Judge Minty is top-notch, the characters themselves are lacking a bit. Judge Dredd characters are generally straight forward lawful neutral archetypes, but after the first act, Judge Minty is essentially one long action scene with less characterization than Dredd 3D. The main villain doesn’t speak. Any change in Minty’s character is internal, without dialogue. Unfortunately, although the film excels in many areas, the acting is the weakest link. Some of Aquila’s soldiers are borderline cringey.

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Aquila the Psyker

Mutant antagonists with visible faces more often look silly than intimidating. Luckily, the mutant leader conceals his face and acts only with body. That having been said, the actor playing Aquila (the mutant leader), does a good job of appearing both intimidating and mysterious as he uses only his hands and a wide eyed expression. The mutant’s costume design is excellent and his war party invokes a variety of Mad Max-esque marauders, each of which has a costume cobbled together from scrap. The antagonists’ costumes look properly wastelandish while the framing and editing creates a tone similar to The Purge.

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Dredd’s brief appearance

The Judge costumes are also true to the source material: black zip-up jumpsuits. green padding, and gold pauldrons. Even the famous Cursed Earth cloak makes an appearance.  The actor playing Minty is effective at being stern and gritty, but I couldn’t help noticing that the Judge helmet flattens his nose. Judge Dredd briefly appears (as he does in the comics), but he doesn’t feel quite right. His gruff voice feels forced and his jaw line doesn’t live up to the nickname of “old stony face”. However, these are nitpicky and ultimately shouldn’t distract from the action scenes and impressive tone setting.

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Attention to Detail: Like Superfiend, Judge Minty’s background static is heavily influenced by comic references. In an interesting story telling decision, Mega-City One’s radio is heard throughout the first act and is shown to be originating from Minty’s helmet. The exposition fades properly when the Judge removes his headgear. Background radio chatter references Otto Sump’s first appearance, the banning of Umpty candy, Robot Wars, skysurfing, and much more. What’s most impressive is that the film is consistent with the comic’s timeline. Minty’s Long Walk was relatively early in the Judge Dredd story line, but the references to the Robot Wars and Otto Sump are well placed within the context of the story. Someone did their homework.

Despite its length, the film is surprisingly dense, full of inside references, good set design, internal consistency, backstories, a fun villain, and a fair amount of set up and pay off. Plus, it explores the often underappreciated Cursed Earth and does so beautifully. Overall, Judge Minty is another half hour fan film that is a must see for any Judge Dredd fan.

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Mad Minty: Beyond Cursed Earth

How A Boy and His Dog Established a Genre

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Like science, fiction is often built on the shoulders of those who came before.  That is to say, most images from our imagination comes from putting a twist on what we’ve already seen. In horror, we can see a very clear progression from Poe->Lovecraft->Kolchak: the Night Stalker->X-Files. Though it seems odd to say it, building on the work of others is the surest way to come up with new ideas.

In the 1970s, post-nuclear fiction had been developing into a small (but growing) genre for nearly 20 years. Many nuclear holocaust films in the 50s and 60s were about the start (and end) of WWIII rather than survival in the radioactive wastelands to follow. Dr. Strangelove, for example, is counted as a nuclear holocaust film.

In 1975, something happened to solidify the tone of a desert wasteland. Harlan Ellison’s A Boy and His Dog provided audiences with a visual medium to express the post-atomic world. The little details in storytelling, set design, and costumes would inevitably shape the Mad Max franchise, the Fallout franchise, and much more.

A Boy and His Dog would define the tone of the post-nuclear genre in 4 ways:

  1. The Wasteland
  2. Settlements
  3. Clothing
  4. Mutants

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 The Wasteland: A Boy and His Dog portrays the world as an endless post-apocalyptic desert. This would set the backdrop for the entire genre as even Fallout 3 (a game set in Washington D.C.) was comprised of desert. However, A Boy and His Dog redefined the post-nuclear landscape by setting the entire thing in the deserts of Arizona. From a storytelling perspective, this puts the audience in the mindset that life is hard, water is scarce, food is hard to come by, and the survivors are more than likely to be desperate bandits (creating a sci-fi wild west motif). Years later, Mad Max and Fallout would use the concept of endless radioactive desert to build their own universes.

What’s interesting about the wasteland of A Boy and His Dog is that most of the world we see is still in one piece. Everything is underground, usually in a somewhat serviceable condition. Early in the film, Vic and Blood come across a slave driver who is mining for cans of food. Vic would eventually take refuge in an underground hospital. 40 years later, the Mad Max video game would expand on this idea with The Dunes, an area of the wasteland which is functionally identical.

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The third act of A Boy and His Dog takes place in an underground bunker/town called Topeka. The American government has survived and upholds a caricature of 1950s America with a powerful metal fist. This seems like a clear jumping point for Fallout to build off of, especially since the tone of 1950’s Americana took greater hold of the series from Fallout 3 onward.

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Settlements: Using the visual medium, A Boy and His Dog was able to craft a living world full of tiny details to express the desperation and restructuring of the post-nuclear world. As all the resources are buried underground, survivors are forced to make their homes out of junk. The opening credits depict a hut made from nothing but discarded tires. Vic begins his adventure in a lean-to made from sheet metal and barrels. The wasteland theater has a wall made of car parts, sheet metal, and other junk, reminiscent of Fallout’s Junktown and The Road Warrior’s refinery.

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These little details show that even decades after the apocalypse, survivors have only done what is necessary to trade with each other and survive. A Boy and His Dog was stuck in the post-apocalyptic mindset, but began the movement toward the post-post-apocalyptic genre, a concept that was fully developed by Fallout. Mad Max 3 and Fallout would later develop towns and settlements with unique cultures, but it all began with A Boy and his Dog.

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Notice how each costume is just a collection of random junk

Clothing: From the savage biker gear of Mad Max to the settler outfits in Fallout, Wasteland attire is generally described as a mixture of whatever you can cobble together. Nowhere is this truer than in A Boy and His Dog. The tone for clothing is set fairly early with the slave driver. His outfit is a mixture of things that look interesting, but have no practical use: a leopard print naval hat, several brightly colored quilts, a crest of feathers, and a handful of gold rings. This shows the breakdown into tribalism and feudalism seen in both Mad Max 2 and Fallout.

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Extravagance over practicality.

It is easy to see how A Boy and His Dog influenced post-nuclear fashion as a cosplay of any character from the film would fit right in at Wasteland Weekend. For 40 years, the manner in which post-nuclear survivors choose their clothes has remained the same.

Mutants: One of the best parts about the post-nuclear genre is the mutants. Post-apocalyptic scenarios with zombies are generally limited to caricatures of humans, with some variation of speed and muscle mass. Nuclear mutants can be (and have been) nearly anything as there is no limit to how familiar creatures can be twisted into something utterly monstrous.

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The burnpit screamer: a creature so mysterious, it has never been seen.

A Boy and His Dog established future use of mutants with Blood the talking dog and followed that with the legendary burnpit screamers.  Although certainly unrealistic, mutants bring danger, fear, and life to the wasteland. The incorporation of mutants portrays a changing world, one that will never be the same and practically puts the audience on another planet. Mutants are critical to the post-nuclear genre as they make the world feel alive. The Fallout, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., and Metro franchises owes much of their success to the addition of creatures transformed by radiation.

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Although Mad Max 2 defined the functionality of the post-nuclear genre,  A Boy and His Dog set the tone and feel nearly a decade years before. Despite being 40 years old, Harlan Ellison’s work has become a cult icon of the genre and will continue to inspire, despite its outward simplicity.

Judge Dredd: Superfiend

Judge Dredd: Superfiend is an online mini-series made for Judge Dredd fans by Judge Dredd fans. The project was produced by Adi Shankar (executive producer of Dredd) as a passion project. In his introduction, Shankar says that Superfiend was made as a callback to Saturday morning cartoons or 90s MTV. Superfiend takes place in the “bootleg universe” a world similar to the Judge Dredd comics, but with some added silliness and character relationships.

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Story: Superfiend loosely follows the story of Young Death – Boyhood of a Superfiend before portraying Death in Mega-City One. Superfiend does a great job showing a young Sidney De’ath (later Judge Death) and his journey to becoming Judge Dredd’s greatest enemy, but Death is lacking when it comes to the third act.

Thankfully, Superfiend is more comedic and far less dark than the original Young Death. Judge Death kills a lot of people, but there’s no incident where he murders a crying child. Superfiend is fun and tame throughout, fitting with the often silly tone of the Judge Dredd Case Files.

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Superfiend portrays a very different Judge Death.

Despite its relatively short length, the series has everything: exciting chase scenes (synced with a great soundtrack), developed character relationships, and over the top action.  Superfiend is short, punchy, and funny.

Sound Design: The sound design alone makes Superfiend worth talking about. Judge Death’s mouth always makes a rubbery noise when he smiles.  Mean machine’s metal arm squeaks as it moves. Every tiny movement has a distinctive sound, better connecting the audience to the action. There’s never a quiet moment in Superfiend and it works to the show’s advantage. In a streak of dark humor, one of the best examples is a disembodied head spinning on a record that is stuck repeating “I’m in heaven.”

What’s more impressive is that an original soundtrack was made for and synced to each scene.

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 Bootleg Universe: The “bootleg universe” is meant to be a fun and light-hearted parody. The rising action to the climax involves Judge Death doing things that his comic counterpart would never think of, but because everything in the series is overextended and caricatured, it’s played as comedic. Does a fan project need to stay true to the source material? I’ll leave that one up to you.

The environments are a lot of fun. Mega-highways are portrayed as winding roads that lead to nowhere. The Disco Crater has the same 80’s punk vibe as Warhammer 40k’s Necromunda. McFatty’s was never seen in the comics, but is a great excuse to put the fatties in the show.

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My one gripe would be that Judge Death’s creators, Nausea and Phobia are handled awkwardly. It was likely a matter of pacing, but they appear from nowhere just to move the story forward or to have an interesting action scene. Phobia and Nausea are important to the Judge Death story line (particularly Necropolis), but it’s never explained where the sisters came from. It would have been interesting to see Superfiend expand on the two, but it likely would have ruined the pacing.

References for comic fans: Superfiend is surprisingly dense. There are a lot of sight gags for fans of the comics, but these don’t disrupt the story. Strange items that appear in the comics are briefly explained in a way that is informative for new audience members, but doesn’t break the flow for Judge Dredd veterans. I recommend going to watch Superfiend first, but here are all the references I was able to find. To normal viewers, they’re just background characters, but to Judge Dredd readers, they’re nice little winks.

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Fink Angel without his poison

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Father Earth makes a brief appearance

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Fergee (no not that one)

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Tony Tubbs sitting in McFattys

Edit: It seems that I missed a few obvious references at McFattys!

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The Abdominal Arnie Stodgman! Hiding in plain sight.

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Dick Porker, leader of the fatties.

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Even the framing of the image is the same…

I realize now that almost every character in Superfiend was lovingly pulled directly from the comics. Each of these referential characters is extremely detailed, making it all the more clear that the creators and artists did their homework and really care about the series. With all these references, I’m surprised they couldn’t find a place for an Otto Sump advertisement.

Overall, Judge Dredd: Superfiend is a fan project with high production value that diverts from the source material and has a lot of fun doing it. From the story to the sound design, every part of this series feels like it was made with love and attention to detail. If you have time, give this one a watch, the whole series is only 30 minutes.

Did you see any other comic references? If so, share them in the comments!

Cult Classics: She Wolves of the Wasteland

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Following the success of Mad Max 2 was a handful of post-apocalyptic B-movies. Among those was She Wolves of the Wasteland (aka Phoenix the Warrior), a movie that killed the careers of nearly everyone in it. From its horrific editing and pacing to the terrible acting, She Wolves maintains an unsteady balance between boring and hilarious. For this discussion, we’re going to break the movie down into 4 parts.

  1. The Plot
  2. Interesting concepts
  3. The Editing
  4. Closure

 The Plot: She Wolves has a great premise, but suffers from an awful script, hilarious acting, and poor execution. The opening narration describes “bacteriological wars” (though there’s a big Geiger counter scene, so maybe a nuclear war too) that killed all the men on Earth and left only a handful of women. Of the original survivors, one called Reverend Mother uses “dark powers” to breed a new race of super women. When I heard this, I immediately thought of a cross between The Master from Fallout and Immortan Joe from Fury Road. Unfortunately, though there are some similarities throughout, the plot goes off in an entirely different direction.

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The Road Warrior, without the flair

The story arc itself is pretty poor. The movie begins with a buggy chase through the desert, where a lone woman is being pursued by bounty hunters. After being captured, it is revealed that the woman is a breeder who escaped from captivity (another similarity to Fury Road) and stole Reverend Mother’s genetic seed. The seed was destroyed during the car chase. As punishment, Reverend Mother uses her psychic powers to drain the breeder’s life force, then explains that she’s dying and must to consume a man to survive.

The focus switches to the bounty hunters looking for a woman (Keela) in a village. Just as they find their target, a woman in a bikini (Phoenix) appears and murders a handful of the bounty hunters. Keela reveals that she is a breeder and is pregnant with a male child, prompting Phoenix to lead her to a safe place. The two women wander through the wasteland until they arrive at an oasis full of naked Amazonians dancing under waterfalls.

Cut 9 months ahead and Keela is giving birth to a male child. At the same time, the bounty hunters have finally found the oasis and launch an attack, killing all the naked women and forcing Keela and Phoenix to escape into the wasteland.

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Despite being the main mcguffin, the kid is just there.

Cut 5 years ahead and Keela’s child has grown into a ninja star throwing toddler. However, Phoenix is worried that the Reverend Mother will eventually find them and briefly explains that she wants to escape out into the ocean and find an island. With bounty hunters still on their trail, the two set off and stumble upon the last man on earth, a guy named Guy.

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A great way to introduce the character

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But an underwhelming reveal

Unfortunately, the bounty hunters catch up with our heroes again. Phoenix is captured and placed in a gladiatorial arena. After killing all the other slaves, Phoenix is freed by Guy and Keela. The three steal a car and drive out into a legendary area known as “the badlands.” The badlands is actually a graveyard full of broken TVs, mummified bodies, and La-Z-Boys. The mummified bodies are revealed to be mutants who were waiting to trap our heroes and turn them over to the bounty hunters. Guy and the child are captured and sent to Reverend Mother. Looking to save their friends, Keela and Phoenix escape and travel all the way back to the village for a final showdown, where possibly the last human village on the planet is reduced to rubble.

Interesting Concepts: One of the reasons I think She Wolves is worth talking about is that although they are poorly executed, the film does have some interesting concepts. The movie takes a lot of inspiration from other post-apocalyptic movies, but it gives them a twist to make them feel fresh. The clearest source of inspiration comes from A Boy and His Dog, though the roles have been reversed. Instead of men looking for women, She Wolves has women who have learned to survive and even thrive without men.

Reverend Mother’s plan would have been interesting if the movie had put some more emphasis on what exactly it was. The movie focuses on the bounty hunters tracking down Keela and her son, but there was potential there for something more interesting. If the bounty hunters had been mutant super-women with incredible strength or hideous deformed monsters, the audience would have a feeling for the stakes of the situation and understand why Keela’s child cannot become another breeder. Instead, the movie (like Fury Road) is one long chase scene to capture the breeder and her child.

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The Reverend Mother herself is also a pretty interesting idea and has some great makeup (for the budget). She’s a hideous deformed psychic in a wheelchair fitted out with life supporting cybernetics.She lives in a bomb shelter underneath the only town in the wasteland. It is later revealed that after the war, she was the last person on the planet and that everyone in the movie is actually one of her children or grandchildren. Although improbable, this was a great line to throw in and is somewhat foreshadowed by the Reverend Mother’s name; though it does mean that the movie technically contains incest.

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The sound effects and tone of this scene were excellent!

My favorite part of the movie was the TV cult. One of the hallmarks of post-apocalyptic fiction today is social commentary, usually in the form of a tribe immortalizing some trivial aspect of modern society. Fallout has been doing this for years. She Wolves’ TV cult was just plain fun. A graveyard full of corpses forever staring at broken TVs, cathode tubes used as jewelry, trespassers made into TV antennae’s, and best of all using an old decaying TV Guide as a holy book. I honestly wish this had been a bigger part of the story.

Editing: The acting in She Wolves ensured that this movie would be a disaster, but the editing made a few scenes downright confusing. Characters are frequently cut off before they finish speaking, a few lines are done in ADR, and the same grunt and gun fire sound effects are reused to no end. Worst of all though is the time lapses. She Wolves takes place over nearly six years, but there’s no transition between Keela revealing she’s pregnant and actually giving birth. There’s no transition between escaping the Amazonian camp and a toddler throwing a ninja star. Admittedly, there are a few nice pieces of cinematography in this movie, but they ultimately fall short because of the horrific editing.

Closure: The ending of this movie deserves its own section. The movie builds up to the big confrontation between Phoenix and Reverend Mother, then nothing happens. The movie ends without explanation. Guy, the last man on earth, is captured and sent back to the breeding tanks, never to be heard from again. The only town in the wasteland was blown apart. The Reverend Mother had the child that would give her unlimited power, but she put him in a cage and laughed at him, rather than consumed him. Keela defeats Reverend Mother by disabling her life support system and the movie just ends. There’s no closure. The movie cuts from Reverend Mother’s corpse to Phoenix riding a horse. There isn’t even a closing narration.

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            She Wolves of the Wasteland is a bad movie, but it’s the kind of bad that makes you want to keep watching. The concepts are fun, the action is OK, and the acting is hilariously bad. The movie feels unfinished though. Given a bigger budget, some good actors, a better script, and a decent editor, I believe this movie could have been on par with A Boy and His Dog. As it stands, She Wolves is a complete disaster that should only be watched if you’re a fan of bad movies.