Peace, Death: Apocalyptic Sales Associate

Peace Death Header

I have a soft spot for interpretations of the afterlife, especially those subverting traditional imagery of hell. So, if you’re reading this and thinking “Rad-Lands, you pinnacle of post-apocalyptic perfection, why are you talking about a game that has nothing to do with sandy deserts or radiation?” the answer is because Peace, Death is about general apocalyptic motifs, contains parodies of Mad-Max and Fallout characters, and it’s pretty fun.

Here’s the premise: You are a reaper, one of billions living in the underworld. You can’t afford food, so you start working at Apocalypse Inc. as a customer service rep. Your boss is Death. The other three horsemen of the apocalypse are always plotting against him, sometimes inviting you to help in their schemes. On the factory floor, you have the simple job of deciding if a person goes to heaven, hell, or purgatory based on their face and personal effects.

Peace Death Horsemen

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Wasteland Weekend Survival Guide: #1 The Approach

img_6225.jpgThe Rad-Lands had an incredible time at Wasteland Weekend VII! Ben and I had been looking forward to this event since we first started the Wasteland Survival Guide show, but we never felt the time was right to actually participate. I had seen plenty of YouTube videos providing an overview of Wasteland Weekend, but the press coverage simply cannot compare to the feeling of standing at Wasteland’s rusty gates. As we pulled into a camping spot, Ben and I were completely overwhelmed. With a population of 4000 people and too many tribes to keep track of, I figured newcomers could use a helping hand navigating Wasteland Weekend VIII and beyond.

Disclaimer: This bi-weekly series will explore The Rad-Lands’ experience at Wasteland Weekend and will hopefully provide content both entertaining and informative. By no means is this an expert guide to Wasteland Weekend, but rather a write up for friends and future attendees.


At 11:30pm on Wednesday night, I was finally in bed after a grueling six-hour flight from Buffalo. By 4:00am, I had my costumes stowed, my gear packed, and had just set off to meet Ben somewhere out in the Mojave Desert. Hours before sunrise, the blinking red lights of the Mojave Wind Farm led the way.

Ben wanted to leave his ranch around 5:00am. After waiting for over hour for the rest of our group, we actually left for Wasteland around 6:30. We all decided it would be better to costume up after arriving. That was a good decision as we were in the car for nearly four hours. Continue reading

Joe Junkman #3: Junk in the Trunk

In those early years, before we established dog-tags as currency, the BLVD was crazy, seriously bananas! Even with The Judge in charge, even with the great wall of trash going up, it was a nasty, nasty place. When you showed up at someone’s doorstep with a pack full of junk, you had no idea if you were going to barter for merch or barter for your life. I got stuck up a few times; with a mug like mine how could I not. Still, I can proudly say I’m probably the only person in the Mo-Javi who hasn’t popped their murder cherry. That’s not to say I haven’t come close though.

It was after the Blacksmith’s guild was formed, but before the Guilds of Academia. I was carrying some wilted vegetables straight from Kass’ greenhouse, a guitar with a missing string, a bag of sand marked “Pure Cane Sugar,” a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, and some other household goods. Now see these were the old days. There weren’t armed guards on every street corner. If someone took your stuff, you went and took it back. If someone shot at you, you shot back and took their stuff. At that time, The Judge’s counselors were like old-time mafia enforcers, making sure the big scrap-metal wall was completed on schedule, or else. Capiche? Continue reading

Joe Junkman #2: Birth of a Salesman

Hate to break it to you folks, but my entry into the wasteland isn’t nearly as interesting as you might have guessed. I know it’s a pretty popular rumor, but I can assure you, I was NOT found in a junkyard as a baby. I’m a business man, not a trash messiah. Truth is, I was a traveling salesman in the old days. I’d go knocking door to door, hawking milkshake machines, toys, shower curtain rings, you name it. If I didn’t sell, I didn’t eat; so I became really good at talking to people and perfecting the art of the pitch.Salesman-Clipart

When things started going south all over the world (and especially south of the border), I kept doing what I always did, selling. When we really started losing the war, when the the food lines and rationing were in full swing, I became a sort of national icon while selling ties to a California state senator. The news people said I was proof that the American Dream could weather the toughest storms.

None of that matters now. Continue reading

THE NEW JOURNAL OF JOE JUNKMAN #1

Wannabes, losers, shysters, and gamblers! Lend me your ears!

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The name’s Joe Junkman. I’m kind of a big deal around the Mo-Javi. If you haven’t seen my name slapped on a Junkman Caravan Co. caravan cart, you’ve probably seen it on Junkman brand spoons, Junkman brand refurbished boots, or more likely The Wasteland Survival Guide (written by Joe Junkman).

Now I know what you’re thinking. How in Kass’ name did a know-nothing wastelander without a single dog-tag to his name, come to have his own caravan company, market, and refurbishment factory, you ask? One word. Persuasion. See, when you use the right words, you can convince people of anything. That rusty old spoon? Give it a coat of chrome spray paint and you can convince wastelanders it’s real silver. It also helps when you’re not afraid to ask for more than you’re worth. Continue reading

Judge Dredd vs Zombies: Cynical

Judge Dredd vs Zombies

Should gamers and games journalists take mobile games seriously? I think so. After all, the Pokémon series began on mobile and continues to enjoy its popularity by adapting to new mobile outlets. Mobile games hold a special place as being easy to pick up, fast to play, and most importantly, addictively engaging. That brings us to 2012’s Judge Dredd vs Zombies, a game which never really hits the mark on any of those three elements.

I almost feel guilty because I love Judge Dredd, (I even made a Typing of the Dead mod for Judge Dredd), but I’ve never really liked the official Judge Dredd games. Countdown to Sector 106 is OK in that it relied more on text and story than gameplay and while Dredd vs Death had a great opening, tone, and made you feel like a judge early on, its late game petered off into a generic sci-fi shooter. Meanwhile, Judge Dredd vs Zombies hardly feels like a Judge Dredd game at all. Before we get into that, let’s talk about the gameplay. Continue reading

Deconstructing Fallout 3: Blood Ties

Deconstructing Fallout 3

When I first played Fallout 3 on my Xbox 360 way back in 2008, I found myself drawn to the hubs and the quests. Exploring the wasteland was fun, but ultimately I was looking for structure and a story. I’ve recently booted up Fallout 3 again, but this time on the PC. With extreme (but lore friendly) modding, I’ve found the exploration aspect far more enjoyable and the quests frankly lackluster. I want to deconstruct the quests in Fallout 3 to think about how they work in relation to an open world map and the player character’s development choices.

Let’s start with the basics. Not counting the three childhood quests, Fallout 3 has a total of 66 quests in the base game: 10 story quests, 18 side quests, 22 unmarked side quests, and 16 repeatable fetch quests. Again, I want to briefly break down each of these to see how they’ve made use of the new environment and the RPG elements. We’ll start with the story quests.


I LOVE “Blood Ties.” I think it’s the best quest in Fallout 3. I think the reason for that is because it’s the closest thing to a Fallout 2 quest in the entire game. The premise is a bit silly, but meaningfully fleshed out through dialogue and written exposition. Still, “Blood Ties” has a great sense of progression and discovery; this ensures that the more you learn and investigate, the better your chances of reaching the best ending. Story aside, it succeeds as a great, traditional RPG quest; combat is completely optional, the ending has a lasting impact on the game, and “Blood Ties” has (in my opinion) the single greatest skill check in all of Fallout 3. Continue reading